From early 1995 to mid 1998 I have used Scream Tracker III a lot (hours and hours) to compose a lot of crap with the use of a lot of crappy samples. Sometimes however something nice evolved from all the experiments with chords and tracker features. The best results have been put together on an album called Journey. And a journey it has been indeed: the quality of the compositions improves greatly over time, as you can hear below. I don't know if that means that the last official composition from 1998 is also the best. Technically it is for sure. Judge for yourself!

Pax - Journey - front Pax - Journey - back


A project by Pax. Pax is Ronald Eijkman. Music, lyrics and artwork by Pax. Produced, engineered and mastered by Pax. Music composed with ScreamTracker 3.01, edited and recorded as wavefiles with FastTracker 2.08. Pax would like to thank Aiken, Frank, René, Didacticus, Marko, J., R. and Boyd, family and Herma for being part of my life.

01. Through the Clouds

02. Different Views

03. Running For Your Life  download

04. A Trip Through Fantasyland  download

In my dream I flew over the world, I could go anywhere I want, but there was one restriction... and I didn't know what it was. But I was happy for the moment, high in the sky and nothing to worry about. But after a while I discovered there was no-one there but me, up there, and suddenly I felt lonely and cold... Hot tears burned behind my eyes and then they came with thousands at a time, pouring down to the earth... My mind and vision were blurred and quite suddenly I felt my skin touching the cold stone ground. A flash... and everything went black.

05. Last Night Thoughtpatterns

When I'm walking on the beach I think, I want to be alone with the girl of my dreams I want to go home... I want to feel her skin, just be together, I want to touch her lips, I want to be here forever...

06. I Can't Find My Lighter

Where's my goddamn lighter? Why do I need to smoke anyway? If only she'd listen to me. Why doesn't she answer me? Answer me.

07. Depressed and Alone

08. Sunset Boulevard  download

I don't see this depression as something bad, something awful. Because apart from all that misery in my head, there's a bit of joy, yes, even happiness... When the darkness of my soul collides with the blinding brightness of her cheerful eyes, I don't even remember how long I missed this feeling... When I look into her eyes, the warmth it melts my frozen soul of ice. Then I touch her golden hair, I'm well aware the disappearing of my cold despairs... And I feel her hand in mine, not in my whole entire life I felt so fine. I feel her lips upon mine and I wondered girl, where were you all this time. All this time...

09. Carnival  download

'Hello young man, you would probably like a balloon, don't you? Here you are and enjoy your visit!'
'Mom, I'd like to go to the fortuneteller!' - 'No, darling, we've been there three times now, I think you know enough about your future!'

10. Freakshow

11. Mining Area #13  download

The toughest mine-workers never wanted to believe that, once in a while, mining area 13 was unstable. It happened on those days when the heat underground was nearly unbearable and the air almost unbreathable. Then the little creatures came. Out of the ore? Out of the air? No-one knew where they came from. And they disappeared quite quickly too. Usually, after two days, search-teams where deployed to look for the missing men. The same day the searchers found them. They were all dead. Suffocated.

12. Fashion Fatigue  download

13. Exit of the Greenhouse  download

14. Passionate Feelings  download

I'm in the ShadowZone of life. I can't see anything, I can't hear anything, but I feel her soft skin under my cold, flattering hands. "This must be heaven", I think. I want her so much, I want everything she could possibly give me... But where are her hands? Where is her mouth? Cold sweat pours down from under my armpits. I'm entering a state of unsatisfiable desire, it seems like my veins are about to explode, my heart is on the outside of my body, ripped out by her presence. I can't stand this any longer, I scream silent cries of fear. At this point I lose consciousness...
When I wake up, I reach out for her. But she isn't there. She's gone. I don't think she has ever been there. I'm alone in this world.
And I knew it from the beginning...

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© 1999 by Pax. All rights reserved. Unauthorized copying of this recording without explicit permission by Pax prohibited.